Heard: A male's opinion

For this week’s post, I decided to dissect the phenomenon of effortless perfection from a different perspective, that of a Duke male.  Yes, you heard me, M-A-L-E.  Females are not the only gender that feels the pressures and stresses of the out-of-reach dream to be effortlessly perfect.  Up to this point in my blog, my posts have focused on integrating the viewpoints of popular media articles, well-known public opinion pieces, and publications targeting the pressures of Duke women and women in general as well as expressing my own opinion on the subject.  Yet, by tapping into another resource, I hope to add depth to my overall argument: no one is effortlessly perfect.  No one should try to appear perfect.  Yet females feel the pressure.  Males experience the stress.  People of all identities can identify with the struggle to be perfect.   

So here it goes.  Heard: A male's opinion. (Although his identity will remain confidential, his thoughts are shared below).

Profile: 

School: Duke

Gender: Male

Age: 21

Year: Junior

Hometown: B.C., Canada

1- Did you hear the term ‘effortless perfection’ before you came to Duke?

Yes. Read it in the rolling stone article that covered the Duke lacrosse scandal.

2- How would you personally define the term?

The expectation that someone (usually women but sometimes men) should

be able to appear perfect (good grades, perfect wardrobe, go out all

the time, high social standing, high family income) without "trying"

(lots of time in the library, part time job, appear over-eager to be well

known, etc) to do so.

3- Do you personally feel the pressure of effortless perfection on a day-to-day basis?

Sort of. I feel a pressure to be seen with "high status" people, hook

up with certain girls, and be able to run up bar tabs pretty

regularly.

4- How have you seen girls/boys struggle with it?

More girls than guys. And only close friends, who confide in me or

that I see enough to observe the pressure in.

5- Do you think it is different here than other schools?

Yes and no. I think Duke’s social scene creates more pressure than

elsewhere with high academic standards. Very few places combine

academic and social pressures as much as Duke.

6- Any additional comments on the topic.

I think that "effortless perfection" is internal within the sexes;

other girls care more about what a girl wears more than guys do and

guys are more apt to judge someone’s family income or friends than

girls.