A Show a Cut Above the Rest

Some strong adult content is not for the faint of heart, so leave the kids at home.

            That is for sure.   I just got back from the show, All of the Above.  Did you see it?  It was incredible.  Absolutely incredible.  It was heart-wrenching, inspiring, brutally honest, eye-opening, sickening, saddening – it had to have touched every emotion in every individual in the audience.  We laughed, we choked up, we were inspired.  The show, verbally presented as -

a theatrical production comprised by monologues written, performed, and directed by Duke women about Duke life. The play represents the female experience on campus by addressing the sad, strange, shocking, and funny things that make life as a woman so unique. The pieces included in this year’s show were selected from a collection of monologues anonymously submitted during the fall semester…

            But it was far more than that. It was a display of the torment and struggles Duke women face in the hope of achieving effortless perfection.  But as one of the monologues truthfully phrased the struggle as “effortlessly perfect on the outside, demented and a mess on the inside.”  All the Above beautifully displayed an unfiltered, unedited version of the struggle that is often buffered and softened for the general public. 

I think every student at Duke should see these series of monologues- both female and male students.  For female students (especially those who may deal with some of the issues addressed) - to feel a sense of connection to other women on campus, to know that you are never alone – someone out there is feeling your pain and struggle.  Despite the fact that the show centers on women’s struggles on campus, males should see it too.  Males alike (probably more hidden and less verbalized) may be experiencing some of the feelings these women portray.  Since the male perception of Duke women as effortlessly perfect is far too common, the show serves as a platform for understanding women’s inner demons as a result of the pedestal that both men and women raise women to.   And for both genders - see this series to deepen the evidence that NO one is perfect.  We can try all we want to be but it will never happen.  Let the notion go, for the longer you hold on to it, the longer the inner demons have to grow and the further you have to fall when the realization hits that you are NOT perfect.  But All the Above will serve as the reminder that NO ONE is perfect.

            

What is the cost?

I have only seen a few perfect games in my life, one of which was two nights ago.  And it was not my team that had the perfect game, but rather the opponent.   Duke was the on the receiving end of a perfect game from Derrick Williams, the Arizona wildcat that single-handedly defeated Duke and crushed Duke’s dreams of a repeat National Championship.  The loss broke my heart.  As I watched in disbelief and disappointment as Arizona extended its lead in the second half, I was crushed.  I was sad for myself (I know selfish but I just love watching Duke play), for the fans, for the student body, but most of all, for the players.  The thirteen players who have dedicated countless hours and energy to the one goal – to be the 2011 National Champions in Men’s Division I basketball.   Yes a lofty goal but not out of reach.  Until the other night.   I had Duke winning the national championship in my bracket, not just because I am a huge Duke fan (obviously) but because I really did think they could do it again.  Yet, what we saw the other night was not the perfect game we, as Duke fans, hoped from Duke but instead we were on the receiving team of a powerful game from a guy name Derrick Williams.  He just couldn’t miss. And Duke just couldn’t stop him.  Hitting the three with no time on the clock heading into half time was the dagger that Duke just couldn’t recover from. 

Williams, the sophomore sensation, had 32 points, 13 rebounds, three steals, two assists, and a block in Arizona’s victory. The big man was 5-6 from beyond the arc, and absolutely unstoppable all game long.

Source

Perfection.  The perfect game.  That is what every athlete, every team, every school hopes for when the athletes and coaches step into the arena. The goal to have a perfect game every game is not realistic and sets up every team, every player, every coach for disappointment.  Bad games happen, good games happen often, great games sometimes, but perfect games are rare, extremely rare.  Nolan Smith has had ten point games, followed by a thirty-point game.  The same can be said for Singler.  And Williams too is no exception.  In the basketball world, Williams showcased a phenomenal game last night. 

The hope for a perfect game extends far beyond basketball. In baseball,

A perfect game is defined by Major League Baseball as a game in which a pitcher (or combination of pitchers) pitches a victory that lasts a minimum of nine innings and in which no opposing player reaches base.[2] Thus, the pitcher (or pitchers) cannot allow any hits, walks, hit batsmen, or any opposing player to reach base safely for any other reason—in short, "27 up, 27 down". The feat has been achieved 20 times in the history of major league baseball—18 times since the modern era began in 1900.

It has happened 18 times in 21 years.  How many games of baseball have been played in that time frame?  Thousands? Maybe millions?  Every game, the pitcher strives to pitch the perfect game.  And each time they don’t (which is most of the time), they are disappointed.  So why do we as a society strive to achieve perfection in sports when it is so rare?  No wonder some athletes turn to steroids or other unethical ways to improve.  No wonder coaches break the NCAA rules of recruiting.   No wonder some professional athletes have depression and mental disorders. They want that perfect game, the perfect team.  They want to be champions.  But what is the cost?  

Always Feeling Rushed? You are not alone.

Newswise — While more free time sounds like a good thing for everyone, new research suggests it is a better deal for men than it is for women.

A study found that men who have more free time feel less rushed than men with less leisure time. But even when women have more time free from paid work and household tasks, they don’t feel less rushed.

Heard: A male's opinion

For this week’s post, I decided to dissect the phenomenon of effortless perfection from a different perspective, that of a Duke male.  Yes, you heard me, M-A-L-E.  Females are not the only gender that feels the pressures and stresses of the out-of-reach dream to be effortlessly perfect.  Up to this point in my blog, my posts have focused on integrating the viewpoints of popular media articles, well-known public opinion pieces, and publications targeting the pressures of Duke women and women in general as well as expressing my own opinion on the subject.  Yet, by tapping into another resource, I hope to add depth to my overall argument: no one is effortlessly perfect.  No one should try to appear perfect.  Yet females feel the pressure.  Males experience the stress.  People of all identities can identify with the struggle to be perfect.   

So here it goes.  Heard: A male's opinion. (Although his identity will remain confidential, his thoughts are shared below).

Profile: 

School: Duke

Gender: Male

Age: 21

Year: Junior

Hometown: B.C., Canada

1- Did you hear the term ‘effortless perfection’ before you came to Duke?

Yes. Read it in the rolling stone article that covered the Duke lacrosse scandal.

2- How would you personally define the term?

The expectation that someone (usually women but sometimes men) should

be able to appear perfect (good grades, perfect wardrobe, go out all

the time, high social standing, high family income) without "trying"

(lots of time in the library, part time job, appear over-eager to be well

known, etc) to do so.

3- Do you personally feel the pressure of effortless perfection on a day-to-day basis?

Sort of. I feel a pressure to be seen with "high status" people, hook

up with certain girls, and be able to run up bar tabs pretty

regularly.

4- How have you seen girls/boys struggle with it?

More girls than guys. And only close friends, who confide in me or

that I see enough to observe the pressure in.

5- Do you think it is different here than other schools?

Yes and no. I think Duke’s social scene creates more pressure than

elsewhere with high academic standards. Very few places combine

academic and social pressures as much as Duke.

6- Any additional comments on the topic.

I think that "effortless perfection" is internal within the sexes;

other girls care more about what a girl wears more than guys do and

guys are more apt to judge someone’s family income or friends than

girls.

Workhardgetskinny

Workhardgetskinny. SpRiNg BrEaK 2k11.  For Duke, spring break officially started Friday at 6pm. Spring break should be a time of low-stress, seven days of rest and relaxation.  No classes, no homework due tomorrow, minimal responsibility.  So, what comes to mind when you think of spring break?  For me, it is warm weather, a time to relax on the beach or poolside with the hope of getting some color.  It is a cherished time to recharge your batteries.  However, on the flip side of that coin, spring break can also foster a lot of stress, not about classes and work but rather about one’s body, in a bathing suit.  The planning and preparation for a week in the sun, in a bathing suit, must start weeks and even months prior to spring break.  And as a result, the gym can get particularly crowded in the days and weeks leading up to spring break, as everyone tries to get into tip-top shape. The treadmills are constantly occupied, at an almost constant turnover rate.  A single girl can occupy the elliptical for hours at a time, as fatigue and the pressure for that perfect body exist in constant competition.

“Oh my gosh I am so tired and bored.  My playlist has already repeated three times.  It is time to leave the gym and eat dinner.”

“Oh no, it’s not.  No dinner. Spring break is in three days.  Food is the enemy.”

Bikinis are certainly not very forgiving, so I can say I definitely understand the pressure to shed those last few pounds before being in a bikini in front of peers and classmates.  So as the gym gets increasingly more crowded, the dining halls and restaurants seem to become increasingly more vacant. Food is Poison and Diet Coke is Love serve as sources of inspiration for many spring break dieters. Numerous websites and social networking sites too offer places for young people to gather and motivate each other to reach that ideal body in a matter of weeks. For college kids, spring break seems to serve as a time to showcase your perfect body, your perfectly tan, skinny, toned, flawless body. That idealized version of oneself seems to serve as the motivation for cutting back on calories and hitting the gym, in the days and weeks leading up to spring break.  The bikini contests, the wet t-shirt contests and the MTV hit spring break shows only add fuel the fire.   

Spring break itself as a cultural phenomenon embodies a certain desire to reach that ideal weight and look a certain way in a bikini in front of your peers and classmates. So as I leave for the Dominican Republic tomorrow morning at 7:00 am, I’ll let you know how I do on my spring break.  Did I hit the gym as much as I should have?  Was that candy and ice cream really worth it?  The unforgiving stares of those too on SpRiNg BrEAk 2k11 will certainly not fail to let me know how if I pass the spring break test.