The Chronicle Speaks...

"As a culture we have forgotten the capacity to embrace all aspects of the self – to embrace both the weakness and our areas of vulnerability. And social norms (i.e. to be strong, independent, driven, non-vulnerable, etc.), dictate that it is taboo to acknowledge our areas of vulnerability or imperfections with others, that it is taboo to be truly authentic." - Gary Glass, Ph.D. and part of Duke faculty 

The Dress of the Century

            My wedding has to perfect.  I mean I have envisioned it ever since I was a little girl.   A beautifully white gown, perfectly fitted on my slim, tan body (this is how I picture my body on my wedding day).  The perfect shoes, not too high but high enough so that I walk as if I am floating down the aisle.  My hair falls perfectly around my face, topped by a veil that is ever so gracefully lifted by my father as I am presented to my future husband. I can picture everything: the atmosphere, the mood, the weather, the wedding party, the day…I can envision it so clearly now, but as vision turns to the groom, it suddenly blurs. Before my wedding day can occur, I guess I first have to find the perfect groom….

            Kate Middleton has found her perfect groom, Prince William…ever heard of him?  This wedding must be perfect. The dress...

“This dress has to be perfect ,” renowned British designer Bruce Oldfield tells OK!. “A hand-crafted piece of couture, using only the best materials; nothing about the fit or finish can be left to chance. It will be part of history.”

...the shoes, the atmosphere, the setting, the weather, the audience, the wedding party, EVERYTHING must be perfect.  And, perfect not only in the eyes of Kate, the bride, but in the eyes of the royal family, the country of England, the entire public who so desires to witness this monumental wedding.  Talk about pressure on Kate and Prince William.  Pressure to be the perfect wedding, the perfect bride, the perfect couple, the perfect Princess (different than princess) and Prince.

It’s hard enough picking out the perfect wedding dress when you’re marrying Prince Charming. Imagine trying to do so when you’re engaged to a real prince!

Personally, I cannot even imagine the pressure Kate Middleton feels to be the main attraction at arguably one of the most anticipated weddings of the century.  I would imagine that pressure to be perfect for this day must be suffocating.  Yes, she is beautiful, classy and fit to be a princess but she is human, she is flawed as we all are.  

She better not trip down aisle or stutter on her vows or be anything less than perfect because the public will surely be watching and taking note.  She better not follow in the footsteps of Christina Aguilera, who recently was the victim of the harsh public wrath after she floundered the lyrics of our country’s National Anthem.  How could she possibly do that??? I mean, she wasn’t singing in front of millions of people or anything, heaven forbid we cut her any slack.  I could NEVER sing in front of ten people, let alone 111 million viewers, the most in Super Bowl history.  I could also NEVER walk down the aisle with more than one hundred people staring at me.  But good luck to you Kate, and to you too Christina in your next performance, because soon enough the public will zoom in on someone else and their failure to be perfect.  

Black and White

Dangerous Perfection


I love going to the movies.  It offers a promising way to get lost in another world, to let go of your individual worries and get lost in those of someone else.  Bask in the success or misery of the main characters, a way to take on their issues as if they were your own.  For me, I usually go to the movies to see romance, to enjoy light-hearted movies, the ones that stimulate my happy endorphins.  However, occasionally I will go to the movies to see the darker, more riveting movies; these too offer a temporary escape from reality.  Sometimes these worlds that we get lost in at the movies are more frightening and disturbing than our own, as the movie plots take real problems and exacerbate them.  This is certainly the case with the psychological thriller Black Swan. The movie is a perfect (no irony intended) example of the dangerous quest to achieve perfection. 

Natalie Portman is terrifyingly talented as Nina Sayers, a psychotic ballerina trying to find and define herself by her dancing capabilities.  She is a ballerina struggling to perfectly capture both the white and black swan characters in Swan Lake, all in a single two-hour performance. 

The White Swan is a pure, elegant ballerina who is constantly contradicted by the evil seductress Black Swan– Nina must strive to be both, and not just be both, but capture both contrasting personalities perfectly.  She undoubtedly pushes herself to the limit, reaching her fatal breaking point at the climax of the movie. 

The goal of perfection drove Nina to death, literally.  She gave herself an ultimatum, be perfect, accept nothing less.  Too many aspects of her life were affected by the intangible goal to be perfect- her eating, her relationship with her mother, her romantic relationship, her attitude about herself and her attitude towards life.  And unfortunately, the list goes on and on. 

Despite the fact that much of Nina’s struggle was internal, the audience was able to see the ultimate showcase of the terrifying, self-defeating nature of her strive to achieve perfection, in her frail, anorexic, ballerina, body. 

Black Swan captured … “the pain of Nina, a crazed, neurotic, and psychologically disturbed woman, via her body. Furthermore, I presume that beyond allowing her to physically manifest Nina's inner turmoil, losing so much weight also allowed Portman to connect with the character on a deeper and more truthful emotional level. Psychoses aside, Portman's rail thin physique was also crucial to painting a realistic picture of the ballet world.”

 Granted, Nina’s drive to be perfect was far from effortless.  Regardless, however, the want and need to be perfect, no matter how one tries to achieve this goal, is self-defeating, as showcased beautifully by Natalie Portman in Black Swan.  

Before And After

Before and After ....


Before Three Clicks of a Mouse and After....


Real-Life You to Phlawless You

Phlawless

Check out Faith Hill, or can I say “Faith Hill” on the cover of a fashion magazine.   She looks incredible, right?  Thin, pretty, tan, with perfect makeup and the perfect body, all captured by a single photograph.  I’d even go as far to say, she looks absolutely flawless. 

            I can’t begin to imagine the number of young women who have subconsciously or consciously thought, wow I wish I looked that good (I know that I have).  I wish my face and my body could be captured that perfectly.  In reality, however, that is not the real Faith Hill.  That is a photoshopped, altered, perfected, or Stepfordized, as some call it, version of Faith Hill. 

“One of her arms was thinned by about 40 percent, an unflattering roll of flab was removed, and her left hand was turned into a left forearm pose. Most disturbingly to me, her face shape was distorted, like a Barbie doll's can be molded by squeezing it.”

            That picture, that flawless women, is not real. She does not exist. I do not walk around campus as the photoshopped version of me.  She does not walk around Hollywood as that version of herself.  So why should it exist online then? My facebook photos are certainly not photoshopped.  Are yours?

Regardless of the idealized images in photoshop, women still today strive to be more like the flawless women on the cover of glamour magazines.  The digitized, stepfordized version of Faith Hill is what we, as human women, desire to look like, as we walk the streets and go about their daily routines.  Phlawless.

 Effortless perfection is the condensation of the drive to be the physical version of the phlawless version of oneself.  Photoshopping and perfecting photographs is the modern ability to transform flawed realities to flawless photographs, in a mere matter of minutes and clicks of a mouse.

Since I know you are all thinking it, what would you change?  How would you photoshop your digital self to make you appear more stepfordized and flawless? For me personally, I’d say…. Add a little tan to my whole body, a little more bronze to my face especially.  Add some definition to my arms, make them look thin but toned. Add some volume to my hair.  Cut a few inches off my inner thighs.  Define my calves.  Lift and perfectly round my butt.  Make my eyes sparkle.  Now that is perfect.  The new, phlawless me.  Don’t I look great?  But how sick is that? 

“I am at a loss for ways to combat the media's standards of beauty. But seeing the curtains of digital magic pulled back to reveal reality can remind each of us to give ourselves a break when we look in the mirror.”

Yes, we all have those days, bad hair days, tired days, sweatpants days.  Some days are just a struggle to lift those covers.  But the media sure is not helping.  There is a level of beauty that is universal and real, a beautiful that shines inside and out.  A beauty that is envious.  But the media beauty, the fake beauty created by magazines, is certainly not enviable.  I’d go as far to say that it is sickening.              

How To Say No

“Just say no: no, you may not take five APs, no, you may not join four teams this season, no, you may not stay up until 2:00am doing homework, no, you may not volunteer three times a week at the Food Bank, no, you may not participate in activities simply to pad your resume. Whatever the consequences, you'll survive and we'll continue to love you. Saying no is a lot easier, and a lot more sensible, than waging the wrong revolution.”  - Nancy Reagan

            N.O. Two simple letters that comprise one one-syllable word, no.  No, probably one of your first words as a child.  No, often paired with yes, two words defined as a system of affirmatives and negatives in a language, every language. So why can’t we say no to too much? 

Pencils and Erasers

Forgive me.  I should take a step back.  I started off blogging in such a hurry, with so much excitement to get right into the meat of the theme of this blog. I jumped RIGHT in, dissecting the futile quest to be effortlessly perfect.  I completely disregarded the fact that many of my readers may not be familiar with the term effortless perfection.  As a term coined at Duke, effortless perfection is something I, and my peers I’m sure, are not unfamiliar with, in terms of both the definition and the pressure.  But as a blogger, I overlooked the most important thing – making sure my readers know what I am talking about. I am sorry for that and apologize if you were confused. Keep in mind though, I am not perfect ;).  However, I hope to clear up the confusion now, but I get any further in my blogging.

So as I take a step back, I’ll clue you in on what ‘effortless perfection’ really means, from the campus where the term (not the idea however) originated.  2003.  What happened in 2003? The war in Darfur begins.  The first case of SARS is identified in Vietnam.  Hu Jintao begins his reign as President of the People’s Republic of China. Ruben Studdard wins American Idol, defeating Clay Aiken.  Elizabeth Smart finally returns home.  2003 is the year of origin of the term effortless perfection at Duke University.  In 2003, Duke defined Effortless Perfection rather eloquently (with the definition and the aura of the term still “eloquently” present and applicable today):

“According to the Women's Initiative report, "effortless perfection" is a social environment described by the 'expectation that one would be smart, accomplished, fit, beautiful, and popular, and that all this would happen without visible effort.' The noun-phrase "effortless perfection" has taken on the characteristics of an entity in and of itself. "Effortless perfection" is not just an idea at Duke, the report implies by using the term in this manner, it actually exists.”

As much as I’d like to be proud that I go to school where some new hot term originated, but unfortunately in this context, it is not something to flaunt.  The pressure to be perfect is paramount, undeniably tangible. “[W]omen at Duke expect themselves to be perfect, and beyond that, perfect without effort. Doesn't that sound a little problematic?”  

What do you think? Do you think this phenomenon presents a problem, now that you know what I am talking about now?  It is certainly a sticky subject; an elephant in a room full of female students that I would argue exists outside the confines of Duke’s campus.  But spoken in the words of a true male Dukie, “No one is perfect... that's why pencils have erasers.”